


I built a home for you, for me until it disappeared from me, from you

by thecraplan



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst?, M/M, Minor cursing, not totally in first pov, will add more later!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-10
Updated: 2017-06-10
Packaged: 2018-11-12 08:02:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11157660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thecraplan/pseuds/thecraplan
Summary: “I can't seem to remember what happened, but if I close my eyes, I think I can see a certain smile that I'm sure belongs to you.”





	I built a home for you, for me until it disappeared from me, from you

**Author's Note:**

> small excerpts, read as whole.

~~_UNRAVEL,_ ~~

~~_THE TRUTH._ ~~

 

_The rain didn't stop._

 

_I don't think I remember much._

_Just that, maybe, just maybe I knew you?_

 

_Tell me,_

_Did you know me too?_

_I mean,_

 

_You were crying,_

_Though it was the rain_

 

_That covered the tears..._

 

_You never told me your name,_

 

_But I knew it._

 

_That's a big piece of evidence._

 

_So why do you run from me._

 

_What did I do to you?_

 

_What did I do to you?._

 

_Act I_

 

_Kaneki?_

 

_Eyes raise. His lashes, they flickered._

 

_Maybe he was dreaming, but his hair, his hair he confirmed, had just bleached white in seconds._

 

_"H-Hide?"_

 

_His heart was pounding. His throat, constricted._

 

_Kaneki?_

  _"Hide."_

  _He closes his eyes for awhile and Sasaki Haise is right in front of him._

 

_Sasaki –_

 

_Haise?_

 

_"Hide."_

 

_Do you know me?_

 

_"Hide!"_

 

_I can't touch you._

 

_I can't reach you._

 

_I don't want you to be in pain anymore Kaneki._

 

_"Hide, please."_

 

_So please, don't find me._

 

 

_Act II_

 

_The engine rattled._

 

_Car doors slammed and a large figure stands by it, suit glistening._

 

_"Sasaki."_

 

_Amon glances around him cautiously. His brows furrow slightly._

 

_The ghoul, he just stood there, facing a dead alley._

 

_"Sasaki."_

 

_The next calls snaps him out of paralysation. He turns, and Amon's stomach flips._

 

_His eyes–_

 

_Red._

 

_Wide._

 

_Moist?_

 

_"What if I told you the person you loved came back?" he whispered, stepping closer to Amon._

 

_Amon takes two steps back but Kaneki has his hands locked on Amon's shoulders._

 

_"It...really hurts."_

 

_It takes Amon a few minutes to realise this, this ghoul, this supposed monster, was just a young living being._

 

_Daring, just as he always as, he wraps his arms gently around the young adult and just stands there in the rain._

 

_Sasaki, huh._

 

_"Kaneki."_

 

_huh._

 

_"Kaneki Ken, that's your name."_

 

_"He called me that, the person I loved."_

 

_Who did he love again,_

 

_The boy?_

_"We have to go back."_

 

_"Does he live here?"_

 

_In the world that crumbled long ago, does he live here now?_

 

_"I don't know."_

 

_Amon guides the lifeless ghoul back to the car and sits him inside._

 

_The leather is wet, but that wasn't important now._

 

_The ride back to CCG is silent, almost remorseful – on Amon's part. The past resurfaces quick._

 

_Kaneki can only remember the sun._

 

 

_Act III_

 

_Sasaki Haise isn't any better than Kaneki Ken._

 

_But the past that projected (Iredell) itself into its past was lost to Sasaki Haise. So in a way, he was happier._

 

_So –_

 

_What was the world doing, bringing the past to the present?_

_What was their intention?_

 

_To bring back the ghoul who suffered, or maybe, they just longed for Kaneki Ken._

 

_Either way, society was sick._

 

_Well, that was an understatement. It most probably only involved CCG._

 

_investigators._

 

_All a bunch of fancy-titled idiots who thought they were saving the world,_

_doing it for a good cause._

 

_Act III , Pt. 2_

 

_The room had columns fallen over._

_Paint peeling off the cement._

 

_Kaneki leans against the only standing pillar, coffee cup delicately held between his fingers._

 

_Many things run through his mind._

 

_But none are past._

_He remembers only the sun._

 

_What sun?_

 

_"Oh, you know, Nagachika-San?"_

 

_Nagachika?_

_Hide. Hide Hide Hide Hide –_

 

_tell me,_

 

_what did I do to **you**? _

_-_

 

_"Sasaki."_

 

_The cup slams down onto the window ledge._

 

_"Akira, please", Kaneki raises a hand to clasp his lips, "tell me."_

 

_His gaze flickers from the darkened trees to Mado._

 

 

_Akira sucks in a breath. Those eyes were the pure reflection of Kaneki Ken._

 

_"We were hoping you'd be happier this way."_

 

 

_A hand._

 

_Clutching the skin over his heart._

 

_"That this method, could save you."_

 

 

_Save him?_

 

_"I don't mind."_

_I don't mind being used by the CCG._

 

_But please,_

 

_God_

 

_I didn't have to forget you._

 

 

_This paradise,_

 

_Is._

_A lie._

 

 

_Act IV_

 

_nothing happened._

 

 

_Act V_

 

_[ Investigation Lot ]_

 

_"I insist a name change."_

 

_There is a orchestrated sharp intake of breaths._

 

_"To what, may I ask?"_

 

_Naive_

 

_"Kaneki Ken."_

 

_The sliding door slams open right then._

 

_Please God._

_._

_._

_Is it the boy I loved?_

 

 

_His eyes turn first, before his head._

 

_Brilliant._

 

_Like the sun._

 

_"Kaneki?"_

 

 

_White._

_Kaneki?_

 

_Kaneki..._

 

_He acknowledged you._

 

_Colour,_

_fills the vision._

 

_Act V , Pt. 2_

 

_The standstill falters._

 

_Ken._

 

_Kaneki._

 

_Red - blood._

 

_"I'm so sorry."_

 

_I'm so sorry._

 

 

_My heart can't take it._

 

_I'm paralysed._

 

_Is this supposed to be paradise?_

 

 

_He smiles at me._

 

_All at once,_

 

_The past flows into the present._

 

 

_"Ka-ne-ki!"_

 

_Kaneki gasps, grappling at his heart,_

 

_clutching at his soul._

 

_Like a heart attack, raging._

 

 

_Like the ghoul he is -_

 

_Launching at Hide._

 

_Act VI_

 

_I'm so thankful you're doing well._

 

_Hands grip wantonly at Kaneki's arms._

 

 

_Breathe._

 

_It smells like him._

_His hair, blooms into full silver._

 

 

_I prefer this._

 

_A clear, crystal laugh echoes through the room._

 

_"Like a monkey eh Kaneki?"_

 

_I latched myself to him._

_Because of all things I've lived through in this life, Hide,_

 

_Hide,_

 

_I never want to let go._

 

_Arms curve at the creases of Sasaki's overcoat as legs twine themselves up Hide's thighs._

 

_There you go,_

_Back with Hide._

 

_Back in his arms._

 

_Headphones squeeze against his cheeks._

 

_Safe, I've never felt safer._

 

_Sucked into a realm that just consisted of two of them,_

 

_The world was a beautiful place._

 

_For life._

_For;_

_Death._

_-_

_White._

 

_His eyes are red._

 

 

_His heart was five years older. It was dull._

 

_Act VII  , Pt. 1_

 

_Tragedy._

 

_"I won't run rampant like Sasaki."_

 

 

_Ever since that kid came,_

_Sasaki hasn't lost it._

 

_There were times, he would be close. But that guy would always stop him just in time._

 

 

_Just who is he?_

 

_"A friend."_

 

_Urie jolts slightly. There he is. He can read minds?_

 

_"Ah, sorry. It's a bit complicated." he rubs the back of his head, smile plastered on his face._

 

_He slides a cup of coffee onto the table and sits himself opposite me._

 

_Coffee, huh._

 

_Hide._

 

 

_I don't like the guy._

_"Kaneki!"_

 

_I don't 'Kaneki' either._

 

_But I can't look away._

 

_Kaneki was, elegant._

 

_Dull_

 

_Sad._

 

_Sasaki was never like that. He'd be happy, grateful, the difference was too great to accept so easily._

 

_I see him pass Kaneki a cup._

 

_"This one is way better."_

 

_I see Kaneki smile._

_Take the cup and_

_drink._

 

_Raw liquid burns down throat._

 

_"Made coffee in heaven?"_

 

_"Hey," he laughs, "too soon."_

 

_That feeling,_

 

_Reminded me of all the stories I heard of the ghoul extermination operation._

 

_An old story, way into the past._

 

_Together, they seemed to fit._

_Apart, I have yet to see that._

 

 

_Act VII , Pt. 2_

_A smile flits across his face._

 

_So bright,_

 

_The light that condones all._

 

_Hide takes the sunflowers in a delicate manner. It's essence suffusing into nothing._

 

 

_His body bends._

 

_Lips curl candidly._

 

_"Thank you, Kaneki."_

 

 

_Act VIII_

 

_Hide joined them._

_There was another operation._

 

_Act IX_

 

 

_In total, 74 days._

 

_In the rain from the past shower, collecting on the filterless roads._

 

_Blood meets water._

 

 

_Hide thought,_

_They never matched._

 

_It didn't snow this time._

 

_Hands grip through the blood._

 

 

_Hide lets the water run down his cheekbones._

 

_Only the rain echoes the lost memories through its chanting (the splatters)._

 

_Square one._

 

_Hide never seemed to cry._

 

_So by doing Kaneki this last favour, he hopes he's happy._

 

_He runs his free hand through his clumped up blonde hair._

_Watches the water droplets tap on Kaneki's skin._

 

 

_When he wasn't breathing, he looked truly peaceful._

 

 

_Act X_

 

Maybe it was just a dream. 

 

Maybe they were all dead, tossed into this other reality where life repeated itself. 

 

drip

drip

drip

 

A vision, 

Of colour

 

countless times 

 numberless patterns 

 It never made sense

 

And maybe it didn't have to. 

Either way, 

 

"Yo, Kaneki."

the mask slips on. 

 

"Still doing that for the ladies?" 

 

_Haha._

 

 

_In this life, I give myself to you._

_Like you did for me._

_Thank you for loving me._

_Thank you taking this journey with me._

 

_/_

_everything in italic._

everyone in present.

everything in past.

everyone –

**bolded.**

**Unravel this world, a lying, sinning society.**

 

 

 

_And I am terribly paralysed._

_Looking for sunlight in my paradise_

**Author's Note:**

> If you guys have any difficulties with the pov or anything feel free to tell me! (will run an error check later!) hope you enjoyed :)) +this isn't related to any of the tg series.


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